The Unlearning Curve

Read time: 5 minutes

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If you hadn’t heard already (unacceptable, where have you been) October is Women in Sales Month. I’ve been taking the time to reflect on my journey, you know, as a woman in sales. 

The high, lows, wins, losses, how far I’ve come from that first week on the job after jumping from the lab to selling a “nice-to-have” to senior biotech leaders. As is the case with most things in life, there are challenges to overcome along the way, and often they are heightened by navigating them as a woman. 

Now, before I lose all the men, this one's still for you too, I promise. 

Every job is a learning curve, but when I started to think about it, I’ve done a lot of unlearning too; there’s only one way to be successful in sales, caring too much makes me weak, professionalism means polishing away my personality.

The list goes on. 

It’s been through tackling these misconceptions that’s helped me find my way in sales, more than any technical knowledge ever has.

So let’s talk about how the unlearning curve can make you a better sales person. Particularly relevant for people earlier in their careers, but honestly, does the imposter syndrome ever really go away? 

Here’s the 3 things I’ve found the most useful. 

TL;DR: Be yourself, be confident in your communication, give yourself the space to feel sad about the losses, but let it fuel your next deal. 

1. Selling as yourself

It took me a while to realise that the “sales voice” I’d been trying to perfect wasn’t mine. The classic over-confident, slightly too polished, full of buzzwords and basically just promising the customer the moon and stars to get the deal through. 

When I eventually realised it was ok to be myself, everything got easier and my client relationships got stronger. 

Here’s what that actually looks like in practice:

• Drop the scripts, keep the structure: Scripts make you sound like you’re on autopilot, but frameworks keep you grounded. Know your key points and the one takeaway you want them to remember, then say it however you naturally would.

• Trade polish for presence: You don’t need perfect phrasing; you need genuine attention. When someone says something interesting, don’t plough through your next question, pause, ask why, dig deeper. It shows you’re listening, not waiting to speak.

• Mirror energy, not tone: You don’t have to match someone’s speed or bravado to connect. Instead, match their intent. If they’re detailed, get specific. If they’re visionary, talk outcomes. That’s how you meet them where they are without pretending to be someone else.

• Use curiosity as your edge: Curiosity makes you memorable. “That’s interesting, how are you measuring that?” is more powerful than a monologue about your features. The more curious you are, the less “salesy” you sound, and the more people open up about what really matters.

• Tell the truth early: If something isn’t a fit, say so. Honesty builds more trust than stretching to make it work. Half the time, they’ll come back later because you didn’t push.

• Let your quirks show: A dry joke, a genuine laugh, an offhand comment about your caffeine addiction, those tiny human moments are what people remember. You don’t have to hide your personality to sound professional.

• Measure trust as seriously as pipeline: Ask yourself after every meeting: Do they trust me more than they did an hour ago?

Selling as yourself isn’t the soft option, it’s the sustainable one. When you stop performing and trying to live up to an imaginary expectation, you free up all that energy for listening, thinking, and actually helping.

2. Small word swaps, big energy shift

Softening your language is something that can feel really natural when you don’t want to come across as intrusive, to make a request sound smaller, or appear more polite. But it can make you sound uncertain and put you on the back foot.

It took me a while to realise removing apologetic or softening phrases didn’t make me cold or aggressive, it simply made me sound more assured (there’s something to be said here about how assertive language can be perceived when it comes from a woman, there’s deeper work to be done there, but that’s a conversation for another day).

Here’s some swaps you can make:

• “Just following up…” → “Have you had a chance to review, keen to move this forward.”/ “Revisiting this, as it connects directly to [goal / priority they mentioned].”

• “Sorry for the delay.” → “Thanks for your patience.”

• “Does that make sense?” → “Let me know if you want me to expand on anything.” / “How does that sound on your end?”

• “If that works for you…” → “Here’s what works best on our side, open to your thoughts.”

• “I think…” / “Maybe we could…” → “Based on what you shared, I recommend…”

• “No worries if not!” → “Let me know if this timing works.” / “If now’s not right, happy to revisit later.”
  

Mini Language Audit:

If you want to get better at this fast, try this once a week:

1. Pull up your last five outbound emails, LinkedIn messages, or follow-ups.

2. Highlight every “just,” “sorry,” “I think,” “maybe,” or “if that’s okay.”

3. Rephrase each one as if you were writing it for your most confident colleague.

4. Read it out loud, if it feels natural but firm, you’re there.

Let your confidence come through the same way your expertise already does.

Reframing objection handling & negotiating

Now I don’t know about you, but even on my most confident days, objection handling and negotiating can make me a bit shaky. 

Finding the right words is tough, but I’ve learnt that phrasing can flip a defensive moment into a productive one. The trick is to hold your ground without getting rigid. You’re guiding, not arguing.

Here are a few swaps that can make a difference:

• Price pushback: “That’s higher than we expected.”

  • Common reaction → Instead of “I understand, we can look at scope if needed,” 

  • Instead try → “Most teams start here because it gets them to [desired outcome] faster. Can I show you what’s included?”

• Timeline objection: “We don’t have time this quarter.”

  • Common reaction→ “Okay, I’ll check back later,” try:

  • Instead try → “Makes sense. Out of curiosity, when you think about [goal/problem], when would be the right time to address it?”

• Competitor mention: “We’re already working with [X].”

  • Common reaction → “Got it, thanks for letting me know,” 

  • Instead try →  “Good to hear, what’s working well with them, and what could be even better?”

• Discount request: “Can you do better on price?”

  • Common reaction → Instead of “Let me see what I can do,”

  • Instead try → “The price reflects [specific value/outcome]. The quickest way to reduce cost is to narrow scope, but I don’t want to compromise results. What’s most important to you here?”

• Stalling: “We’ll think about it.”
  Common reaction → Instead of “Okay, keep me posted,”
  Instead try → “Of course, what would you need to see or prove internally before moving forward?”
  

3. The mental load of selling and using emotions as a strength

I thought being a salesperson meant being a cold hard killer. That there was something wrong with you if you got attached to a deal, let rejection affect you or showed any sort of emotion. 

I’ve lost count of the amount of times I was told “you can’t take it personally” when a deal fell through. But it was never that I thought it was a personal failure (well maybe not NEVER, we all f up sometimes, especially when we’re new). 

Most salespeople get attached to deals because we care deeply about what we do - the science, the impact, the patients, the relationships we build.

Embracing these emotions is what makes us better salespeople. 

But sales can carry a heavy burden outside of just rejection, because there’s a lot ot juggle. You’re not just selling, you’re reading the room, managing tone, tracking five conversations at once, and mentally drafting follow-ups.

You’re remembering who’s ghosted you, how far off your target you are on the last month of the quarter, and which deal your manager will ask about first in the pipeline review.

The job can mess with your head if you don’t manage the emotional load as deliberately as you manage your CRM.

Here’s what helps:

• Don’t jump straight into analysis mode after a tough call:
  Write down one thing that went well before you pick apart what didn’t.
  It resets your brain from “failure autopsy” to “learning opportunity.”

• Separate emotional recovery from tactical review:
  Allow yourself to feel the sadness and frustration first. Once it passes, open the notes and figure out what’s fixable.
  It’s impossible to think clearly if you’re still taking it personally.

• Ask why you lost and be honest about which reasons were in your control:
  No budget right now? Out of your hands. Poor qualification? That’s yours to tighten next time.
  This reframes losses as reps for improvement, not reasons to spiral.

• Systematise anything that drains mental energy:
  Templates for follow-ups, call summaries, and common objections sound boring, but they save brainpower for where it counts.
  Stop reinventing the wheel every day.
  Protect your focus like a resource:
  You can’t show up fully for your next client if you’re still carrying the last rejection in your body.
  End each day with a clean slate, no open tabs, no unread Slacks, no mental to-do list running into dinner. (I can FEEL my colleagues rolling their eyes and calling me a hypocrite for this one, I’m still learning to be better at this too!)

• Use “anchor habits” to reset quickly:
  One small, consistent ritual after tough moments, a walk, a playlist, a vent with your favourite colleague. This can build resilience faster than any mindset quote on LinkedIn.

Caring deeply doesn’t make you weak, it’s literally your competitive advantage. But caring without boundaries burns you out. The trick is to care fully during the call, consciously let go once it ends, and make sure you’ve taken your learnings into the next one.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Episode 71: Let's Go Girls: Women in Sales Takeover with Jess and Divya

October is Women in Sales Month and so Nick and I have passed the mic over to Jess and Divya who will be interviewing a number of different women in sales.

1. Lead Generation: We’ll build target lists, write scientifically relevant messaging, and send messages on your behalf to book qualified sales meetings with biotech and pharma companies.

2. Training for Reps: A skill development platform for life science sales reps who want to improve their sales skills, exceed their quota, and take the next step in their career.

3. Training for Teams: If you want to upskill your team around prospecting, driving to close, key account management, AI, or any other topic, we can put together a training plan specific to your organization’s needs.

4. Strategy Call: Need more than training? Want help implementing and executing your sales strategy? In a 30-minute call, we will assess your company’s current situation and identify growth opportunities.